SMOOTH

Like the velvety drop her womanly form has promoted to great effect -- and controversy -- Brooke Burke is easy on the senses

Words: Mike Peake    Photography: Isabel Snyder

Legs are tremendously useful. Not only do they ensure that your upper torso remains a healthy distance from the ground during travel, they're also great for many other essential activities, including jumping, fleeing unpaid taxi fares, and kicking the occassional hobo. But in the advertising world, the leg assumes even greater status. Indeed, the fantastic pins of 29-year-old Los Angelino Brooke Burke, when photographed exiting a sports car and placed beside the slogan "God is a Man" on nationwide Chivas Regal ads, sold more truckloads of Scotch than previously thought possible. They also caused countless bill-board-related car accidents and, more pleasingly, drove hundreds of knee-jerk feminists into furious Tourette's-like rages.

Born in Hartford, Connecticut, and raised in Tucson, Arizona, Brooke won an acting scholarship in her rattlesnake-rich home town and moved to California, where she studied journalism. There she popped out a nipper -- daughter Neriah -- and before long found herself earning rapturous audiences as the presenter of Foxtel's E! Wild On TV program.

One modelling exit from a pleasantly angled vehicle later, and the down-to-earth starlet was on her way to the big time. And so it is that FHM has linked up with the charming Brooke Burke, actress model, presenter, and testament to the anatomical savvy of the big man upstairs ...

Those Chivas Regal Scotch ads certainly kicked up quite the
stink ...

Yeah, there was a huge controversy. I was so shocked. I was in Australia shooting Wild On: The Outback and I got this call from a journalist who was tracking me down, not wanting to tell me why. He finally caught up with me and he said, "Oh you're famous in Sydney -- your ad is everywhere." Apparently a feminist group caused a huge controversy about the ad and it got voted to be taken down. I keep getting asked if I feel exploited, but as everyone knows beauty sells booze, and I think it's a beautiful picture. Of course, the funny thing is no one really knows it's me -- of course they will now -- but if I can get famous because of my legs and my breasts then I'm in with a chance.

What do you think of the Scotch-drinking man?

I don't really care what my man is drinking, but I'm more of a beer, wine or tequila kind of girl.

You drink a lot on your program E! Wild On.

It looks that way, doesn't it. If I'm in a different country and they have a special drink they want me to give a shot, I'll drink it. I experiment with a little of everything when I travel.

Have you ever been violently ill after swilling an exotic cocktail?

I don't think it was a specific cocktail; I think it was a violent blend of cocktails.

You recently blessed Australia in person with a visit for E! Wild On. What did you get up to?

It was one of my favourite shows. I fought off a four metre crocodile with a stick. They took me to this crocodile farm where Malcome Douglas breeds crocodiles and I thought I would be interviewing him and getting a little background and seeing a few crocodiles. They didn't tell me that I would be actually going into the crocodile pen. It was the scariest thing I had ever done. There was a female and a male in the pen and Malcom was going in; I had to keep my eye on the male, holding this stick, and if it moved I had to hit him with the stick. At one point the male crocodile started to come out of the water in my direction and I hit him and thankfully he stayed away.

American football is played by large marshmallows in pads: did you check out any of our more masculine codes?

I actually had a go at Aussie rules. It was rough. I got to kick, and I even got to jump on a player's back and catch a pass. I didn't get tacked, thank God. I then went to this bar where there were about 3,000 people crowded in to watch football. They all got unbelievably drunk -- or "got on the piss". I actually went in with a cheat sheet of Aussie slang. This one guy walks right up to me and goes, "How about a root?" I was shocked, went speechless and tried to get out of there. I can't imagine an American man coming up to me and going, "How about you and me, honey, right now?"

Ah, Australian charm. You do this show all over the world and must get approached by lots of different men while filming?

Not like the Aussie men, ha, ha. the camera is usually intimidating and puts men off from approaching me. I love to mingle with everybody, but I never usually meet men who come up and spin me a line. But the Aussie men, they are fearless.

Is it true you used to model?

I did a lot of body modelling, lingerie modelling, catalogues, and commercials. I'm passionate about photography.

But you wanted to be a rock drummer when you were growing up?

I know it's goofy, but I did. My dad wouldn't buy me a complete kit, he bought me one drum and made me practise an hour a day.

You grew up in Arizona; did you have your own lasso and hat?

I'm a hick at heart. I own a pair of black suede chaps with rhinestones down the side and I love a good country bar -- there's nothing better than drinking beer and shooting pool.

What sort of normal jobs have you had?

I used to work at Mr. Pretzel and I was also a bartender. I had the record for the number of shots sold. I'd walk around in a cowboy outfit, and in each holster was a bottle of tequila and I'd go round the bar serving them. I was a good saleswoman -- I could pour a good shot.

What sort of man do you go for?

The greatest thing a man can have is confidence, be sincere and know how to have a good time. I can't be with somebody who is completely set in their ways -- they have to be flexible. I've got to be able to take them to a bar and drink beers, stay in a five-star hotel and fine-dine, and then go camping and they won't mind. I also like strong hands and feet.

What about hairy toes?

Feet can be beautiful. I guess I don't dig hairy toes, but you can tell a lot about people by their feet and their shoes.

What's been the most romantic thing that's ever happened to you?

Someone bringing me coffee in the morning is bed is romantic. I like the little things: I like fresh flowers -- not roses though, they're so thoughtless. Of course the most important thing is to be a good kisser.

What makes a good kisser?

Oh gosh, this is top-secret stuff. The first kiss is all-important, you can tell a lot about someone's potential from that one kiss. If they're a bad kisser, it's all over and I'm not going any further.

Do you think a prospective lover should immediately stick the tongue in there?

It depends on the situation. In the heat of passion it could be appropriate. I think wet kisses are really nice, but everyone is different. I think a good kiss should be really strong, with the entire mouth so you can check out the dentures, ha, ha. It's like being on the dance floor with a partner -- if there's not a lot of rhythm going on there that could be a problem.

Do you like showing off your body?

I'm settled with who I am, and comfortable with my body. I'm not embarassed about showing my body at all. I've done a lot of body modelling, which obviously has helped.

When you meet a man for the first time, do you find that they converse with your breasts?

I don't find that, because if someone was talking to my breasts I wouldn't let that happen. You have to get eye contact.

Whereas women would never ogle a crotch ...

Women are a lot more subtle, they definitely check it out but they don't talk to it.

Copyright (c) 2001 FHM (Australia, April 2001)